Barriers: Chapter Five

It was eight P.M. Eight. Allen had been over at Spencer's place for almost six hours.

He was sitting in the living room, playing NES, when he heard the garage door open. He looked to the window to his left to see the Ford Fairmont in the driveway. Allen climbed out of the driver's seat, shut the door and locked the car, then strode into the garage, out of Alex's view. As the garage door began to grind shut, the door in the kitchen flew open and Allen emerged.

"What exactly were you studying that took six hours?" Alex called from his seat in the living room, leaning forward so he could look into the kitchen.

Allen gaped at him, freezing as he began to shrug off his dark green coat. "Uh, lots of things. Science mostly, but some History, too, and, um… English was one of them—"

"You are the worst liar ever," Alex groaned. "It doesn't help that I know Spencer doesn't study."

Allen shuffled his feet and tried to avoid Alex's stare. "I'm… sorry. We just wanted to hang out."

"You're with him all the time! Don't you have other friends you could hang out with, or, maybe you could, oh, I don't know, stay here, for once!" He stalked out into the kitchen, cornering his twin.

Allen cowered, tucking his hands behind his back and ducking down, making himself look smaller. Alex wasn't sure why his brother always tried to look smaller when he was feeling threatened, he'd done it since they were children. Wouldn't it make more sense to try to look more ferocious? That's what animals did, right?

"I just like being with Spencer, okay?" he whimpered. He kept backing away, then jumped as he ran into the counter.

"What's so good about him? Why do like him better than you like us?"

"Well," he grumbled, "for starters, he doesn't yell at me for no real reason, like you do. He's nice, and his family likes me, and he understands that I don't always have to be where he can see me."

"But he's also stupid—"

"And you're not?"

Alex ignored his twin. "He's stupid and he's afraid of everything! He's never been nice to me."

"That's because you're an asshole!" Allen argued, glaring at his brother. The glare's effect was lost thanks to the way Allen was trying to huddle away from him.

"Well, you're a jackass! And Spencer's a fag!"

Allen's scowl only intensified. "He is not! Shut up!"

Neither brother noticed as their mother walked into the room.

"Oh, good," she spoke up before the twins could continue to fight, "Allen's home."

Alex, about to grab Allen by the collar of his shirt, stopped dead. Allen, his hands up and ready to fend off his brother, took this chance to skitter out of the way.

"Did you see that?" He shouted to his mother, pointing at his twin. "He was gonna strangle me!" He turned back to Alex. "Maybe that's why I'm never here: because you're psychotic!"

Sophie clenched her teeth. "Boys, save it. Allen, he was not going to strangle you, and he is not psychotic; Alex, Allen just got home. It isn't necessary to start fighting as soon as he walks through the door."

Allen pouted, planting his hands on his hips.

Alex turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankles. "He's never here. I have to make up for lost time by fighting with him right away."

Allen scoffed. "Like you want me here, anyway!"

Alex, as always, resorted to sticking out his tongue and scrunching up his nose. It wasn't that he couldn't think of anything witty to say (although he couldn't, actually), it was that he didn't want Allen to know that he missed him. That he wanted his brother back. Allen simply didn't need to know, and it would make Alex look like a sap.

"You look like a moron when you do that," Allen spat.

"You always look like a moron," Alex countered. "I'm just trying to fit in."

"Please," their mother cut in. "Just let me talk to you two for a second."

At this, Alex brightened. "You're gonna tell him to stop spending so much time with Spencer?"

Allen gaped at him, expression betrayed. "What?"

"No. He can spend as much time with Spencer as he likes."

Allen grinned; Alex glowered.

"But," Alex protested, "you said you were—"

"He can spend time with Spencer, but," she turned her gaze on the second twin, "Allen, it would be nice to see you around here more often. I know Spencer's your friend, and all, but we're your family. It makes us feel bad when you don't bother showing up for dinner. At least call next time you decide to have dinner at Spencer's."

Allen shrugged. "I can do that."

"Stay here more?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, sure," he grumbled, shifting his gaze to his feet. "Rather just call, though."

Alex groaned. "This is useless. I'm going back to my game."

And with that, he sauntered back into the living room. He had video games to attend to.

"Ugh," Allen murmured.

Alex turned to see that the shorter twin had followed him.

"Castlevania?" Allen went on.

"Got a problem with that?" Alex flopped down on the couch, spreading his legs out to cover the other two cushions, so Allen had to sit somewhere else.

"I hate that game," he muttered, settling down in a nearby seat.

"Because you suck at it?"

"Maybe."

"You just suck at video games in general," Alex pointed out.

"Kind of like how you suck at life in general?"

Alex pressed down on the D-pad harder than necessary. If he didn't vent his anger, he'd end up snapping at Allen again, and then he'd get in trouble. It just wasn't worth it today.

"No witty comeback?" Allen whimpered. "Huh. And I was looking forward to making you make a fool out of yourself. Oh well. I guess you can do that on your own, anyway.

Alex saw numerous jokes that could've been made from that last sentence, but he kept them to himself.

"Whatever." Allen resigned with a sigh and focused on the screen.

________________________________________

Allen grimaced as he continued to watch the screen. It held little interest to him; Allen sucked at video games because he didn't care about video games, but he watched anyway. There was nothing better to do.

He hoped the fight with Alex would give his family the impression that he was in a bad mood. He wasn't. He'd never felt better than he did right now. It was hard to not be happy after finally getting together with the boy you've liked for over a year.

After dinner, things had gone on just the same as always. He and Spencer cuddled up on the couch to watch TV; the difference was that Spencer's parents weren't shooting them weird looks now. How could they, really? He and Spencer were officially together now; there was no weirdness involved anymore. Except for the fact that they were both men, but Spencer's parents didn't seem to care about that.

It had kind of sucked to go home. Not only was he leaving Spencer, but he was leaving the safe zone, as well. Out here he had to lie, and, as Alex frequently reminded him, he was the world's worst liar. This was going to take some serious effort.

He missed Spencer already, and he'd only been away from him for fifteen minutes. Was he a sap, or was this some side effect of new relationships? Then again, this relationship wasn't exactly new. He was probably just a sap.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Alex let out a long string of curse words. Allen's eyes, having wandered, flashed back to the screen to see 'GAME OVER' written in white letters over a black backdrop; the options 'CONTINUE' or 'END' beneath it. A very familiar scene to anyone who played video games the way Allen did. Although he knew how it felt to be faced with the Black Screen of Shame, he snickered.

"Shut up," Alex snarled. "Could you do any better?"

"No," Allen admitted, "but why would I want to?"

Alex didn't bother to respond, so Allen took this as a victory.

"Lost my high score," Alex whimpered as he clicked down to 'continue'.

The game loaded back up and the twins were greeted by the bleepy soundtrack. Allen winced. That was another reason he hated video games; the sound effects and the music were obnoxious. That was also the reason he hated most of the music Alex listened to; he and his twin had vastly different taste in music: Allen preferred glam metal bands, such as Bon Jovi and Van Halen, while Alex listened to that new wave crap; things like the Eurythmics and Depeche Mode. Allen couldn't stand most of that stuff; the synth gave him a headache.

Allen shuffled in his seat. Why couldn't there be something better to do? He was never this bored when he was with Spencer. He let out a long sigh as his mood suddenly dropped.

"What's wrong," Alex teased, not letting his eyes stray from the screen as his game progressed, "miss your boyfriend?"

Allen instantly froze. "Wh-what?" His voice shook and stuttered.

How did he know? How could he know? Oh, Jesus; this was bad. He was screwed!

"You know, Spencer?" Alex prompted. "The idiot you hang out with?"

"Oh. Oh, right." Allen had little luck keeping his voice even. "He's… not my boyfriend."

"So? Doesn't mean I can't suggest that he is."

"I'd rather you didn't," Allen growled, straining to keep his voice steady.

Alex shrugged. "I don't care. I'll call him your boyfriend all I want."

"Yeah, you do that." Allen's pulse finally evened out, and the blush that threatened his secret faded before his brother could notice it. "See what I care."

Would life be filled with close calls like this from now on? Would every single taunt Alex could throw at him send him into blind panic? In spite over the averted danger, Allen still trembled. He wasn't sure he could stand up to this. He'd never been strong to begin with; with this added stress, things could only get worse.

He just had to hold out until college. How far was he from college? It was November, so he could say he was a quarter of the way through his final year of high school. He'd already started shopping around for colleges, and he was pretty sure he was going to start with Westchester Community College (as was Spencer; they also planned to move on to Manhattenville College later on), so, assuming he was accepted, he didn't see anything that could keep him from starting next September. He had ten months. After ten months, he could move into an apartment near the college with Spencer (they'd been saving up for this for almost a year, and had quite the fund going; if they both got help from their parents, finding an apartment should be simple), and then they wouldn't have to hide anymore. How could his parents judge him if he wasn't living under their roof anymore? He'd be safe to live out the rest of his life with Spencer, if he so chose.

Could he really be with Spencer forever? That would be amazing. It was probably a little early to be thinking about that (He was thinking about committing to his first boyfriend after dating him for a grand total of six hours? Was that a good idea or what?), but it just sounded so appealing; how could he not think about it?

That was enough of that. He didn't even know if he could go a week with all the stress this was going to put on him. Committing was undoubtedly a very long way off.